Cold Feet

Mood: Upbeat but slightly pensive.
Music: Hero by Chad Kroeger

Well, it’s almost noon, on Thursday. Woke up about 9am with major sinus issues going on, got to the point where the drainage was so bad I was thinking I might have to go to the hospital and have a breathing treatment done. However, I lucked out and there was some over the counter sinus medication down stairs in the pantry which cleared up the problem without need of a trip to the hospital.

Sooz got back home from taking her mom to work about ten thirty, shortly after she arrived I heard her cussing up a blue streak. Seems that she was trying to activate her mothers new Trac Fone. Obviously neither of them listened to me when I bitched about my problems with them, well anyway, they got a new phone, and can’t activate it for Laurel Mississippi, where Sooz’s mother will be living, it will only activate for the New Orleans area. In order to get it activated, a new SIM card needs to be issued for the phone. Heh, so much for nation wide access with Trac Fones :-/ yet another reason to hate’em.

Well, I’m headed in to work about 3:20pm today, hopefully I’ll be out of there by 11pm, because I want some time with James. There’s quite a bit I want to speak to him about, the problem is I don’t even know where to begin. It’s not that talking to him is difficult, it’s just my thoughts get all muddled and I have trouble expressing my thoughts in a coherent manner, at least that’s how I see myself. If I do however, he’s never indicated that he doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say.

I think tonight when I speak with James, I’ll ask if we can meet sometime outside of a bar setting. I’d like to know well we relate to one another on a one on one basis. I’m nervous though, and I don’t understand why, I’ve never been this anxious and pensive about seeing someone before. I guess I’m just uptight about it because he’s the best one that’s come along to date, and I don’t want to fuck things up with him. I feel like I’m just taking wild stabs in the dark with him, I don’t know exactly where he stands on quite a few issues and it’s kind of scary.

What I really want to know is how he feels about me, and what he wants. He gives all the signs of being interested in me, but I’m not sure in which direction he wants to take things, and I think that’s the nature of my dilemma, I’m not sure where were headed.

I guess only time will tell.